“Getting Things Done Through People Who Do Not Care”

“The dark side puts up walls and has you believe that they are made of steel. In reality, they are made with paper mache”.

–Colin Powell

Think of the last time you achieved something significant.

How did you do it? Do you remember the force you put behind it?

At the risk of evoking a memory of a ubiquitous and overexposed motivational poster, the force you put behind it was made possible by passion. Passion is the force behind every uncommon achievement.

Passion is transferrable and contagious. It makes you creative, which makes you find ways to do things. It makes you persistent, and only the persistent qualify for the prize. Persistence wins others over.

If your dream is significant, you cannot get it done by yourself. Between the present and the future you want is a collection of people. They will not get involved in your dreams without rewards. Those relationships are going to require constant exchange. You give up one thing to get another.

In fact, your entire life has been one of continuous exchange. You are giving up time to read this right now. You have given something for whatever you have, and others have too.

Success means knowing what to give up in exchange for what you want. Let us assume you are an entrepreneur. You may have exchanged a steady job, maybe a corporate job for the unknown. You decided that you would rather “pursue your passion instead of a pension”. You gave up everything about corporate life that you did not like, but you also gave up the corporate paycheck and benefits.

Really, that is a lot of security to exchange. To produce the future you want will require a lot of experiences with other people. Some will sponsor you in some way. Some will assist you and invest in you.

Others will hate your dream; they will despise it for whatever reason. They will most likely be subtle about this, finding ways to undermine it and suppress it behind the scenes. Or they will just discourage you. You will be tempted to internalize their words of unbelief. Don’t. Better yet, disconnect from them and remove them from your life.

The difference between people who succeed and people who fail is those who they have chosen to believe.

So, how do you get things done through people who don’t care?

We are not talking about adversaries. We are talking about people who are passive, who don’t care, and who don’t want to cooperate.

The answer is that your passion must be greater than their apathy. Proceed with authority and intent.

Start asking questions. The art of influencing people includes asking the right questions and giving them an opportunity to come up with answers that are consistent with yours. The questions you ask determine what you hear, what you see, and what you discover.

Expect them to try to break your focus with small talk, with drinks, with lunch. Stick with the questions. Don’t let them veer off the questions.

People who don’t want to cooperate will blow you off. You may hear answers along these lines:

– “This does not fit our standard”.
– “This is not consistent with the direction we are moving in”.
– “This is not what we normally do.”

By the way, it is easier to be courageous about “standards” and “direction” behind the relative safety of a long distance phone call, e-mail or gatekeeper. It is easier to blow you off behind the relative safety of a phone call, voice mail, e-mail, or gatekeeper. Remove that relative safety whenever possible with a face to face encounter.

Don’t be afraid to do this. If you can’t, then don’t be afraid to work around them. Sure, there is a risk of offending or irritating them. But the possible reward may much greater.

Assess the risk/reward equation honestly and carefully, but winners err more often on the side of pursuing the reward.

Success is not guaranteed, but you can penetrate someone’s wall of apathy and get further and faster with uncommon passion and uncommon moxie.

Next in the series: five ways to achieve through those who don’t care.